Where’s Chris? Chris is the medic of the race, he’ll understand. He has a camera with him, he sees what I see. Oh, press the button. Not the shutter of my camera, but the panic button on my tracking device. No panic whatsoever, I just want to take photographs. Did I press it correctly? Hope so. OK, let’s keep on going, I don’t want to freeze in the middle of the road. Here’s Chris. Apparently I didn’t press the button. He’s talking me into staying in the race. I smile and let him know I don’t need to be in the race, I just had the revelation I was hoping for the year before and never even came close to it. This time I wasn’t even looking for a revelation, an epiphany or a meaningful thought, but here I am, radiating on the certainty that my passion for photography didn’t fade away in these twenty years of having a camera strapped around my neck every single day. Chris tells me that I should keep on going, I say to myself that the least I can do is to reach km 100, as a milestone.
And it’s not hard, it’s not that cold now. I catch up with Toby, he just woke up from a nap on the side of the road. He tells me that this is boring. He’d rather run, but then he’d get really sweaty and no one wants that at -28. I tell him all about the sundog, the photographs, the smiling, the frozen tears. He kind of gets it. We walk and talk and then we just walk. We reach km 100 and we stop. We both cook something, drink and it takes me 10 minutes to finally press the button. We walk three more kilometres and that’s it. I abandon, but I don’t loose anything. Photography won today and I’ll always have running.